The Democratic Republic of New Valar is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its closed borders, smutty television, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.09 billion Valarians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Great Sofon. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse New Valarian economy, worth 634 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 155,160 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Troops are either deafened by gunfire or a hysterical voice screaming the Party manifesto, the armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists, wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them, and blind students are at a disadvantage now that test papers printed in braille have been discontinued. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Valar's national animal is the horse, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

New Valar is ranked 9,479^th in the world and 113^th in The East Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 160.08 kickbacks per hour.